Dear Fears of mine that make me want to seek refuge in the confines of my own mind attempting to figure it all out on my own, or to just completely shut down to the point where I’m avoiding the situation….
You have no power to exist unless I make you exist.
You come about looking to plague me with your incessant voice creeping in when I least expect it, yet you make me feel in the moment as if you are relevant. You say, “you can’t do it,” “it’s all on you,” “you’re just not good enough.” I know you’re wrong, but why is it I allow you to continue coming in and making me miserable?
You are a good liar, but not good enough.
You feast on your attempts to make me turn away from God but I know that you are nothing more than a pathetic ploy to destroy me as a human being. You are attention seeking and you hate the fact that every fiber of my existence was created for something more than feeling sorry for myself and that in God’s relentless pursuit of me you cease to exist. I know that you are a manifestation of a self inflicted punishment on myself that has already been paid by the only One who deserves to fill my thoughts; One that you can never fathom being a part of.
You come to me in many different forms so it’s easy for you to slip by.
Depression, anxiety, negative thoughts, lack of motivation to keep doing what I love because I feel like it won’t amount to anything are all hats you’ve put on to make yourself look different, but you’re just fear. To legitimize your insignificant identity makes you look real small doesn’t it? Which is what you were hoping that by creating such a fuss were hoping to avoid because by getting down to the root of things you see that you are easily thwarted. Before I finish calling you out on who you are there’s one more thing…
You are the uncertainty of my disapproval in the change of a situation.
What if I told you that because you are a manifestation of my own burdens that I’ve refused to lay down at the feet of Jesus, that I have the power to turn you into something beautiful. Just as God has made me new, He also changes my thoughts to change you so there is hope! All throughout Scripture He’s changed names: Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah, Matthew to Levi to name just a few. You could change your name from Fear to Faith. Doesn’t that sound better? The new you is encouraging and produces characteristics of peace, reassurance, and confidence, instead of craving attention and ruining lives. While your old ways might creep in, the new you within the new me can make them disappear, however we CANNOT do it alone. The essence of backsliding is doing it on our own. By constantly running after Jesus you name can forever be Faith instead of Fear and I am constantly reminded that I am his beloved, I am strong and I am capable because it was never about the things you said to me, it’s what God says about me.
Take care new friend, for I forgive the things you’ve said to me since they were merely the enemy’s attempt to turn you against me and me against God. He tries to be clever like that. In forgiving you I’m forgiving myself because I think each and every person is our own worst critic and all you Fears too can become Faith’s.
An eternally grateful, loved, and capable child of God
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:18-19