Excuses Never Prosper

I have been disobedient to God lately. That doesn’t sound like the happy clappy missionary I know y’all think I am, but it’s the truth! How have I been disobedient? My confession entails a sheer lack of willingness to step out into the aspects of ministry I know God has been giving me vision for.

Ever since I arrived in Australia I’ve known that I am here to serve at YWAM. Lately I’ve been asking myself what that means and what it looks like, because I’m fully aware that my season here most likely won’t be forever. I’ve been asking myself how to maximize my time here to take advantage of every opportunity that has been given to me. I’ve been stressing about finances (although I’m super grateful for a church that supports me back home and pays my staff fees to have the ability to serve on base), my purpose, and sometimes even what my ministry even looks like. I feel as if God has been speaking “more” into my life, but it has just recently occurred to me that maybe I should actually talk to Him about it instead of speculating it all on my own (novel idea, hey? HA!)

This vision for my ministry that I’ve had, has been on my heart, my mind, and frankly God just won’t leave me alone about it. When I see myself in ten years I see myself having the ability to give to people to release them into their calling, whether it be ministry or missions. I so desperately see myself wanting to pour into others the way others have poured into me. In a YWAM community I see first hand the way staff and students alike struggle. I’d love nothing more than to be a vessel of which I may bless others and build a life to bring that blessing to the nations.

In September, I signed up to be a consultant for Arbonne. Little did I know that this not only was a job opportunity, but a ministry opportunity that God would have on my heart day in and day out, that eventually I would become disobedient to by ignoring. I have felt strong conviction because I’ve been too afraid to step out because of the bad name network marketing in general is given (though Arbonne is unlike any other network marketing company in the industry) and the fear of rejection and laziness and every other excuse in the book have overwhelmed my knowledge that God is greater and makes a way if HE is the one directing you in the direction He calls you to.

Arbonne is a 37 year old vegan skincare, nutrition, and makeup company. We sell everything from foundation, to diaper cream, to deodorant and toothpaste. Established, and truly living up to its slogan “Pure, safe, and beneficial.” In fact, 4 days before hearing about Arbonne I was making fun of network marketing companies because of the bad rep they get for shoving products down people’s throats. It wasn’t until my now uplines Sabrina, Tess, and Cathy explained it in a way that really resonated with me. Not only that, but upon trying things myself I realized that this was something I could be passionate about because I see the difference in it. That it’s not just a gimmick to make personal gain, but it’s people investing in YOU as a small business owner instead of huge corporations that are selling you cheap products containing highly refined black crude oil, dead animal fat (gross), and other horrendous things most people have no idea they are putting on and in their body. Not only that but also with inflated prices where the CEO is probably on his or her third holiday home. And guess what else? Even if you don’t want to buy anything, or become a consultant, I still want you!! Valuing the individual is critical because this isn’t a cutthroat business. Everyone has something to offer, whether it be you knowing someone who might want to know more, or you want to host! There are a plethora of options for everyone beyond just buying and selling.

Fast forward 7 months. I’m still an independent consultant, and I haven’t promoted to the first level of management yet. Why? I haven’t done anything towards it! I have this grand vision of being able to educate people on what they put on and in their bodies and giving them an alternative that not only benefits me financially, but benefits in building relationships, and eventually having a sustainable business that supports others to grow in what God is calling them towards. That the financial freedom isn’t to be something that is greedy but another open door because unfortunately to do anything in this world you have to have money. Jesus has shown me perseverance, commitment, and what it looks like to bear fruit for the sake of His kingdom because of this company. Because I desire to see people healthy, and being good stewards of themselves, each other and this world. I want to build connections and relationships with people who I otherwise wouldn’t have a reason to get connected with. I want more than anything to have the financial freedom to see ministries flourish because of the financial blessing God is entrusting to me and others to further His kingdom. I want to see other men, women, and families have this same ability.

I could sit around and complain that I’m not getting anywhere, but isn’t it like that with most things we do in life? Sometimes God so desperately wants to move, but I know what He won’t do is spoon feed His children when He knows that with Him they are capable of so much more. The things we pursue so long as they are for the glory of God will be blessed and He will direct our steps. As a missionary, I have no money. Like, none….but, instead of letting my pride get the best of me, God has given me this avenue to be able to not only create an income, but to do something so much more valuable with it that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

If you’ve read this far, I appreciate you for bearing with me in love and seeing my vision of what God has been speaking to me. Please, I LOVE when people ask me questions and if this post has sparked anything in you feel free to reach out! Feel free to follow my journey as I will be updating more about this business turned ministry opportunity and I would love to have people partner with me in this endeavor.




Who is God?

I’m going to be completely honest. Lately, I feel as though I’ve wandered away from The Lord. I’ve been in this pit of desiring to want that closeness, but feeling too weak to even begin to try and pursue it. Between the winding down of senior year, broken friendships, family dysfunctions, and my grandma being placed in assisted living where her memory has deteriorated so significantly that on some occasions she doesn’t even know who I am, has seriously taken a toll on me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. On top of that I’ve been working and doing other odd jobs like crazy to earn money so I’m constantly exhausted creating this depression where every thought has become bitter, negative, weary, and anxious. Sometimes in my head I’ve found myself saying, “I’ll get around to getting close to you eventually God, but I need to figure out how to figure this out on my own,” but day after day the eventually grows farther away. It seems like day after day I’ve lost sight of the fact that He’s never left my side and that I don’t need to figure things out on my own. I say all this not to gain pity or sympathy, but to point it all back to God and to testify to the fact that I am his sheep and He has found me and brought me back where I belong. Time and time again lately, Jesus has revealed Himself to me and I felt that I just needed to write all of what He is to me because I am absolutely filled with the utmost gratitude of everything He’s been doing in my life to pull me up and out of the turmoil and into his loving embrace that enfolds every single part of who I am. Sometimes in our greatest trials and struggles when we wander away all it takes is a small reminder of who exactly we belong to.

John 14:1-4 says, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would’ve told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” What is profound to me in this verse is how Jesus says “in my Father’s house there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would’ve told you.” Essentially, to me anyway, He is assuring the fact that there is a spot for each and every one of us in His house and because of what He did it’s possible. God is not a father who has a few kids that he gives a room and then cares for them because he has to and grows weary from time to time because being a parent is hard, but out of pure love and sacrifice He’s making it so every single one of his children may have the very best. God is the One who gives us the gift of being royalty. He is the One who though we stray will reassure us time and time and time again that He is everlasting. Never can we annoy, be too needy, too problemed, too messed up, nor wander too far from His love. God is the One that in the midst of my darkened mindset of depression about the world around me, He whispered in my ear until all I could hear is that He loves me. God is the One who has taken on every burden and turned it into something light and fruitful. He’s the one that’s softened hearts and mended friendships, He’s the One who gives me hope. Jesus Christ is the one who has provided me with strength to see every day as more than just surviving, but instead living to unabashedly love Him with everything I am. God has taken every aspect and turned it into a grand perspective. Not only has he placed peace in my heart, but because of who God is, my grandmother has peace in her heart and increasingly becoming more accustomed to her new home. Because of who God is, He has used me to speak into the lives of those around me that so desperately need to hear His Word just as I do. His abundant provision of all these new opportunities to make money for my mission gives me the strength and the motivation to make it through my shifts at work and to be happy again doing the things I love. Often times instead of being consumed with bitterness and just trying to make it until when I can sleep again I’m filled with thoughts of how I can tell and who I can tell in this world about. It’s been on my heart that through this testimony and all that He has done for me, He is doing for you too brothers and sisters. He doesn’t just have a room for me in heaven because I call myself a Christian and try to be a good person. When I hear a nonbeliever say that they won’t become a Christian because of their poor experience with the church it breaks my heart, but I’m also reminded of the fact that they encountered the Christian, not the Christ and basing the faith off of a fellow broken one is sure to cause disappointment, but when you encounter Jesus and all that He is it’s absolutely impossible to be unchanged. He has given me, and you, and all those who believe a room because of His greatness. He is a God of redemption, rest, comfort, love, mercy, justice, forgiveness, relentless pursuit, overabundant joy and peace. He took everything so that we may be free to love Him, love others, and spread this great joy and hope. God is everything to me though I stumble. He’s everything even when my actions say otherwise because the root of the matter is that Satan’s attempts to hold me down have nothing on the power of Jesus Christ.

Wherever you’re at with your walk with God, I wholeheartedly feel that if you’re reading this that God is speaking directly to you. Some of the lyrics of one of my favorite songs “For My King” by Newport says, “What is this life, so sweet and pure that you would die to call me Yours, and at the cross You bore my sin. You conquered death so I could live.” I truly believe the He needed me to convey this simple reminder of who He is so that we all may be reminded of His goodness because the smallest gestures of His presence have a profound impact on the way we live our lives. It points us in the direction of Who we need live our lives for instead of searching for what we want to live our lives for.